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With my LSR Alumni in Dubai… Conversations, good

With my LSR Alumni in Dubai… Conversations, good food and vibes… all that makes Friday special

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In my coaching conversations, we churn a lot about

In my coaching conversations, we churn a lot about boundaries

This post is about dispelling certain myths about boundary setting

- They are not knee jerk reactions when you feel low self esteem

- They are not about defining patterns for others

However, seeing, understanding, and establishing boundaries isn't always easy.

Are you struggling to stick to your boundaries or do you even not know what they are? You can DM me to have a coaching conversation

Follow me #Dmitra

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In our day-to-day work life, one of the debilitati

In our day-to-day work life, one of the debilitating things is when people resist our logical and reasonable requests – for time, data, response, attention.

It can feel puzzling, confusing and of course frustrating!

What do you do?

Peter Block describes in his body of work on Resistance that there are principally two underlying concerns or needs that give rise to expressions of Resistance;

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐯𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲.

Both serve an essential purpose, they help keep us safe, but when these needs are not met, we go into overdrive, and our behaviour becomes dysfunctional and unhelpful.

So Resistance can be defined as ““𝘢 𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘉𝘌 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥”.”.

When your internal or external stakeholders resist your perfectly reasonable requests, please know the guise of the trigger for Resistance.

Some common ones are ▶️

👉🏾 Lack of information or understanding of the need for or implications of change.
👉🏾 A vested interest in things staying the same.
👉🏾 A perceived sense of threat from the shift (authority, legislation, revenue)
👉🏾 Concerns or anxieties about the future.
👉🏾 Inability to see another way to ‘solve the problem’.
👉🏾  Fears (real or imagined) of failure or rejection.
👉🏾  Not feeling listened to.
👉🏾  Feeling dismissed, attacked, criticized, judged and shamed.

💡 When you understand the underlying trigger for the Resistance, you can respond appropriately rather than getting into overdrive and displaying dysfunctional behaviour.

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Most nights are like this Mamma can you help me s

Most nights are like this

Mamma can you help me sleep tonight?

”Come on Neer, you are 11. You should be falling asleep on your own”

Please Mamma, you promised two nights in the week you would help me

Me grumbling and lying down beside him
In my mind missing my Netflix and my bedtime books

Me loudly, ok can we switch off the lights now?

Neer negotiates with the deftest of expressions for 5 minutes extra reading time

Finally the lights are off after I remind him it’s getting past his bed time

Then unfurls the questions and chatter… what happened in school, views on characters, questions about his lunchbox the next day

Finally after a stern, go to sleep now, there is silence

And movement

His legs keep moving, shifting to find the most comfortable position to snuggle

Sometimes he plays with my hair

Almost like sleeping is the last thing on his mind

And then, in a moment, his body is still

His fingers no longer tightly fisted

I can tickle him or talk to him but he won’t budge, won’t realize a thing

I remind myself this is greater than any Netflix

Cherishing the joys of motherhood

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